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By Starym
Here come the traditional April Fools patch notes! This time it's patch 8.8.8, so Ion was correct in that we won't have 8.3.5 and are jumping a bit ahead! There's a whole lot new coming... some day... as we get Terrific Visions, new allied races in Mechatauren, High Dwarves and Kul Tiran Worgen, new M+ affixes, essences, micro-holidays, new flavors of Classic and a whole lot of (very serious) class changes!
Patch notes (source)
World of Warcraft Patch 8.8.8 Build 88888 WORK IN PROGRESS
April 1, 2020
Tech writer note – looking for edits from all producers and team leads here. Please get back to us by EOD tomorrow, and please don’t leak this doc like one of you leaked all the new professions. Oof.
NEW FEATURES
TERRIFIC VISIONS
Now that N’Zoth is vanquished and all of Azeroth’s problems are solved forever, players will delve into future-looking scenarios that offer a new way of helping Azeroth’s champions see past the old god. With LACEC (Light Assisted Corruption Eradication Conversion), you’ll use Titan technology to step into a look at what the future might hold after everyone stops fighting.
In Terrific Visions, you’ll keep an eye on your Vanity meter while enjoying all that life has to offer. If your Vanity runs out, you’ll be forced to read Torn Pages from N’Zoth’s Diary. For example:
I am an Old God in this lonely city.
I think about sad things; no one calls me pretty.
“My name is N’Zoth” I scrawled over there.
I never meant for ME to feel this despair.
NEW ALLIED RACES
HIGH DWARVES
The long wait is finally over, and the much-requested High Dwarves are finally coming to Azeroth. There’s not really more to say about the glory of the High Dwarves that hasn’t already been said in the General Discussion forum.
MECHATAUREN
Moooove over, all you Horde races who are cursed with flesh. We’re about to raise the steaks on the udderly fantastic notion of Tauren+mechanical bioengineering. Don’t worry, we wouldn’t steer you wrong.
KUL TIRAN WORGEN
HIGHMOUNTAIN GOBLIN
NEW MYTHIC KEYSTONE DUNGEON AFFIXES
New affix: Legit Questioning – Within 3-5 minutes of each boss kill, 30 to 50 feral hogs run into your dungeon. How do you kill them?
New affix: Tub Thumping – With each pull, you get knocked down. But don’t worry—you’ll get up again. We’re never gonna keep you down.
NEW ESSENCE
Now, the most-accomplished and powerful players – those who do a significant amount of pet battling every single day for many consecutive days – can obtain Vision of Furrpection .
Major Power – Reflects all incoming damage. This effect scales with the number of max-level battle pets you have in your collection, to a maximum duration of 30 seconds, with a 60 second cooldown.
Minor Power– You enter stealth after standing still for 2 seconds. Thereafter, moving does not break stealth.
Developers’ note: We haven’t yet completed our tuning pass on this Essence, but we wanted to get it into players’ hands as soon as possible. We’re really looking forward to seeing if players find a use for it.
NEW MICRO-HOLIDAY: MOTHER’S DAY
She’s cared for you through so many difficulties. Now, it’s your turn to show your appreciation for her. Please make a note on the in-game calendar and actually show up for this easy quest chain. You only have to do it once per year, and it means so much to MOTHER.
NEW MICRO-HOLIDAY: MAGNI-FICENT TRAVELS
For one day only, Magni is just going to go wherever he wants and it’s up to you to find your own way there. Magni might lead you to visit your bodyguard in Nazjatar who’s kind of lonely now. He might want to go pull some pranks. When you finally get to him, have fun! Set the Stormwind Park back on fire or something.
CHANGES
CORRUPTION EFFECTS
Infinite Stars has to be renamed, because every time we reduce Infinite Stars by 20%, we’re left with Infinite Stars. Even just pondering it gives us headaches. How about “Many Countable Stars”?
Echoing Void no longer sounds like a car alarm between the hours of 10:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m. when people are trying to sleep over here!
Ineffable Truth can’t be changed.
Twisted Appendage has been given an additional twin tentacle: Twisted Sister.
Gushing Wound has been reduced to gush 20% less than it gushed before.
ESSENCES
Worldvein Resonance now hurts your ears 20% less.
Memory of Lucid Dreams is now 10% more memorable.
Conflict and Strife is now only obtainable through Fishing.
Vitality Conduit now yells at you in the voice of Shia LaBeouf to “Just Duit!!”
Vision of Furrpection has been renamed and is now called Furrification Protocollar.
MISCELLANEOUS CHANGES
After receiving a great amount of negative sentiment having something to do with the Big Love Rocket mount, we’ve decided to make the Big Love Rocket mount 50% larger, and give it a 200% speed boost. Thank you for your feedback.
Tortollan scribes are so very tired of watching you stumble around, that their standards have been lowered by 90%. Draw whatever shape you want. Go nuts. Just finish and get out of here.
All bells have been removed from the game. We’re not sure why, but some raccoon showed up, said something about a house, and ran off with them.
Essence of Fire, Essence of Water, Essence of Earth, and Essence of Undeath are no longer account-wide.
CLASSES
Death Knight
Death Grip never really did what it says and cause death, rather than mere inconvenience to the target, so Death Grip has been renamed Tug Throat.
Now that everyone is a Death Knight, we’ve added a new Death Knight ability: Directory – activate to hold up a chart that you can compare other players to, in order to figure out what race they are.
Demon Hunter
New ranged DPS spec: Tizzy. With a Tizzy DH, you’ll still jump around and make funny noises like there’s a bee on you, but you’ll do it from 40 yards away.
Eye Beam has been given those new high-intensity bulbs, and now blinds everyone in front of you for miles.
Druid
Added a new Druid ability: White Claw – disorients you and frustrates your enemies. It shows up everywhere, even though you’ve never once heard anyone say that they like it.
Shaking a Druid while in Tree of Life form now has a chance to spawn a swarm of angry wasps.
Hunter
Beast Mastery Hunters whose pets do 70% or more of the player’s total damage are now given a comfy bench to sit on during fights.
Freezing Trap is now 30% less effective on targets who keep a sweater at the office.
Mage
Mages who say in voices comms that they’re putting down a portal to Boralus, but then it’s actually a portal to Dalaran Crater, are awarded the Achievement “Why Do They Fall For This Every Time?”.
Blink distance reduced by 50%. You guys really need to tone it down with the Blinking. It’s gotten out of hand. Don’t make us turn this Blink around and go right back where we came from! Stop Blinking! I’ll give you something to Blink about!!
Monk
Ironskin Brew and Purifying Brew are now noticeably less hoppy than they were a few years ago during the hops craze.
New Mastery: Savasana. All Monks have transcended to an elevated state of being, where the answers to all problems are beyond the need for violence. Monk characters are prevented from casting any damage-dealing abilities or using any attacks whatsoever. Namaste.
Paladin
Lay on Hands no longer causes your hands to get all tingly and numb and then you wake up and shake them and they feel so weird.
Divine Steed updated to look less like you’re just running away from a fight, except when followed by the use of Divine Shield and Hearthstone.
Priest
Xal’atath, Blade of the Black Empire voicelines updated in the hopes that you’ll start using it again. You used to be so close and nowadays you barely even see each other. Baby please come back.
Corrected an issue that would occasionally cause Holy Word: Serenity to take the sky from you.
Rogue
Rogues who save their Sap can now make it into a nice syrup.
Rogues who use Cloak of Shadows, Vanish, and Shadowstep in rapid succession now disappear from the game altogether.
Shaman
No adjustments needed. Warlock
Seed of Corruption must now be planted in the correct time of year and moisture, or else it will become Flowerpot of Disappointment.
Doom duration increased to be a really long time, but not so long that you’d call it eternal.
Warrior
Heroic Leap now occasionally ends in a pirouette.
Pummel now looks even more misspelled if you stare at it.
WoW CLASSIC
Following a tremendous amount of feedback, we’re happy to announce that WoW Classic now comes in three new old flavors:
WoW ORANGE VANILLA
CHERRY WoW CLASSIC
DIET DR. CLASSIC
There are no changes to WoW Classic in this patch.
Here come the April Fools official patch notes!
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By Stan
Jaina Proudmoore drops two Glacial Tidestorms until the release of Shadowlands and there's a Discord community named Jaina's Buddies to help you get the mount.
The idea of the community is to gather people with high item level to overgear the content and make multiple weekly clearing groups for the mount. Join Jaina's Buddies if you want to get your Glacial Tidestorm before the drop rate is reduced to 1%!
Glacial Tidestorm
Though she commands a variety of magical powers, Jaina has always been most proficient at summoning powerful elementals of water and ice.
Animations (MountSpecial, Run, Fly)
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By Starym
Here come this week's first hotfixes, with the already announced Legion legacy loot rules along with some more visual tweaks to dungeons, specifically Ashvane Warden in Tol Dagor.
March 31 (source)
Dungeons and Raids
Ashvane Warden The ground visual for Lockdown should remain visible when Projected Textures is disabled in the System Settings menu. Ashvane Warden The ground visual for Lockdown should remain visible when Projected Textures is disabled in the System Settings menu. Items and Rewards
Legion Raids and Dungeons [With regional restarts] Legacy loot rules are now in place for Legion raids and dungeons. Developers’ note: Standard encounters drop an amount of loot scaled by the amount of players in the raid, which results in fewer pieces for players who defeated encounters in small groups or as a solo player. In Legacy loot rules, raid and dungeon encounters will drop a fixed quantity of class-agnostic loot, regardless of the group size. -
By Stan
This week's bonus event revolves around world quests making it the ideal time to farm reputation and unlocking Allied Races.
The Sign of the Emissary buff increases the amount of reputation gained from World Quests by 50%, and all Allied Races require exalted with their respective factions to become unlocked. Completing 20 world quests rewards 1,000 War Resources. Check out our Mechagnomes and Vulpera guides to learn more about how to unlock the latest Allied Races.
Blizzard (Source)
Chart a course across Kul Tiras and Zandalar for this week’s Bonus Event – World Quests.
THIS WEEK
All week, open your map (default hotkey-"m") and select any of the Kul Tiras or Zandalar regions to view the World Quests available to you. To find out more about each World quest, simply hover your mouse over a World Quest on the map to see what tasks are needed to complete it, the rewards you’ll receive, and the time remaining that the quest is available to you.
Look for the following all week long:
Chronicler Toopa in Boralus or Chronicler Shoopa in Zuldazar has a quest for you—The World Awaits. You can also start the quest from within the Adventure Guide (Shift-J). Quest requirement: Complete 20 World Quests in Kul Tiras, Zandalar, Mechagon, or Nazjatar Reward: 1,000 War Resources Passive buff: +50% to Reputation gains from World Quests If you’ve been looking to impress some emissaries, this is the week to do it!
EVERY WEEK
The Bonus Events system consists of a rotating schedule of different activities, currently scheduled to run each week beginning on Tuesdays. Each Bonus Event grants a passive bonus to a particular game activity and offers a once-per-event quest with a noteworthy reward for accomplishing a related goal. The in-game calendar can serve as your one-stop reference for the event schedule. The Adventure Guide also offers a direct link to active Bonus Events, allowing you to easily accept any associated quests.
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By Stan
If you're making use of the XP buff leveling new characters and you're tired of the Warlords of Draenor intro questline, which involves Khadgar, there's a workaround at level 90 to skip it and here's how.
Note that the Warlords of Draenor intro rewards a fair amount of XP these days, and you are sacrificing it to save time with the skip.
At level 90, you must head to Khadgar and complete the intro prologue to Draenor. While the intro gives you a fair amount of Experience with the double XP buff, chances are you could have grown tired of completing it over and over on multiple characters.
We recommend using the skip ideally if you have:
Unlocked Draenor Pathfinder (flying in Draenor), because you will end up in Gorgrond and it will take you some time to head back to your Garrison to start questing; Inflatable Mount Shoes on a mount for water walking in case you have no flying unlocked, which makes it less painful reaching locations and unlocking your Garrison. At level 90, take the portal from Stormwind/Orgrimmar to Jade Forest and head to the Timeless Isle in Pandaria (see map below for exact location). There, you will find an underwater cave with chairs. Sit on them and click the campfire to teleport to Gorgrond.
From there, you can head to Iron Docks if you have a flying mount, and the flight master will take you to your Garrison even though they (the flight masters) aren't marked on the map.
[Source]: Reddit user nodnarb232001
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