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A New Unit of Distance: Feasts + Beta Key Giveaway

The next universal unit of measurement on Azeroth  

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It's getting pretty obvious that we're at the end of an expansion cycle because people are starting to do... weird... things... From 7 hour long solo boss fights to, well, the 7 hour boss fight should be enough on its own, but we now have another sign of the end times: feasts!
You can also win one of 28 BfA beta keys if you help us out with a critical question - read more about it at the bottom of the article.

Reddit has gone slightly mad and there are many people that decided now was the time to map out the distances in Azeroth and that a new, more accurate measurement was needed. And, of course, the only logical and sane answer was feasts.

We start off with a modest measurement, heading from Stormwind's gates to Goldshire, clocking in at a mere 169 feasts, with chief feast-ologist skogs_kack making the necessary trip and taking all the necessary notes.

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This act of brilliance inspired more bold and less sane feast-thusiasts to start mapping out the world of feastcraft, heading to Kalimdor and obtaining the key information that the entrance of the Crossroads is 1109 units of measurement away from Orgrimmar.

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As with everything these days, this noble scientific endeavor soon turned into a faction conflict, as Paradoxou immediately took it upon himself to best the 1109 feast measurement and checked the feastance between Stormwind's fountain and the bridge in Westfall. Said feastance was in excess of 1500.

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However, as with all highly exact scientific experiments, there's always that one scientist that makes the field his own with the ultimate discovery, often investing much of their life in the pursuit of perfection. Warp1092 is such a person and we should all be awed (and more than a little frightened) by his tireless dedication, will of steel (or rather of meat and fish), and above all, by the sheer feast-huberance of his endeavor. As with all defining works of science, there is ample evidence to back up his "2800+ feasts from Stormwind to Stranglethorn Vale" theory, which you can examine below:


And now, in honor of these brave men and women, pushing the bounds of Azerothian science and merging it with cuisine, we thought we might set the stage for the next breakthrough in distance measurement. So what we thought we'd do is give out 28 Battle for Azeroth beta keys  as incentive to the most scientific and creative minded among you. 25 keys will be picked out from everyone that participates in this poll, helping us find the next big unit of measurement in Azeroth, while the 3 remaining keys will go those most creative among you, who will be posting their own guesses for the next big unit of measurement in the comments below (and we'll pick the winners from there). These don't have to be distance measurements only, so feel free to go wild.

Good luck and may the feast be with you!

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Here's my pick (although I'm not eligible, so this is purely for science):

One unit of Old God involvement in the plot.

It has many applications, from cooking, to world-wide conflict, domestic arguments, and more!

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Rare Patron

Measure in artifacts... they plan to use some kind of retirement stuff because they are gonna be useless in a few months... there, perfect use. Measure stuff with stacking them. We have a big ton of them.

Edited by Nurph
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we need something relateable... i propose ganks per 10 meter as a measurement of zone hostility. with the new toggling of PVP everyone can use it.

Edited by lassesos
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The next unit of measurement will be Kil'Jaeden. You can use it for time (time between Avatar down and KJ mythic down), for sizes, for hatred and grudges, for just plain numbers(1 KJ=2 since thats how often we fought him). Overall 1 KJ is a very solid unit of measurement for whatever you need it to be AND MORE!!

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I say the next unit measurement in WoW is gnomes as gnomes while sleeping can extend their length to two gnomes there are some bad effects of using gnomes as a unit of measurement  such as players kicking the gnomes.

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As a healer main i would prefer a measurement in standard healing range. Therefore you could shout at people asking for heals: "Sorry I can't heal you, you are 3 heals away from me!"

Edited by Simma90

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That is some serious dedication and/or insanity displayed. Now I feel like mapping Eastern Kingdoms from the Ghostlands portal to the roof near Horde flightmaster in Booty Bay.

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measuring in feasts is certainly very accurate, I would suggest keeping the feasts but adding more layers:

 

  1. Gem
    • Smallest distance
    • used to measure the difference between life and death in high level raiding content
    • "Wow if only I was two gems more to the right we would have killed that boss ez clap"
  2. Feasts
    • slightly less small but still small distance
    • Used to measure longer distances, especially paths or fields will be measured in this unit
    • "Well it's only about 150 feasts to the north, we will be there in 0.000003 seconds with out flying mounts that we've had for ages in these parts"
  3. Deathwing
    • pretty big distance by now
    • used as measurement mostly in aerial traffic
    • "what's this guy tailgating me for, doesnt he know you're supposed to keep one deathwing distance?"

Feel free to expand on this at your leisure

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We should use Bull RushBull Rush !! you can even measure contest and make the shortest measure!

Pro tips for measure performance :

-Create a druid to run as a chicken :D

-Unbind forward and backward key and fill your spell bar with Bull RushBull Rush

-Name your Tauren with a light modify of measure/ruler (like mine a meuhsure or cowruler)

 

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