wow A New Unit of Distance: Feasts + Beta Key Giveaway

[Perator 0]

The next measurement should be the leght of a gnome throw

[gurupak 21]

Blingtron ftw.

[APPHIAyy 0]

Units of measurement 
Karazhan many books

 

[PatrickHenry 293]

16 hours ago, astrasa said:

Unit of measurement: Varian's Ashes

As a weight or a volumetric?

[LocutusofBorg75 0]

The next unit of measure in Azeroth should be brain freeze procs ?

[Sharknad0 67]

Follow the yellow brick road... of Golden bananas!

[Balor 11]

Should be measured by how manyAshkandi, Greatsword of the Brotherhood Tauren size pre nerfed.

[Swofty 4]

Hey guys, Swofty here. I found out about this thread 3 hours ago and I would like to propose a new distance measurement for WoW. Now, before you continue reading my post, I must warn you that this post is not for the faint-hearted. But please give it a read anyway because I've spent a lot of time on this.

drumrolls
It's called.... Vomitre!

Yes, Vomitre. Shortened : Vom.

You must be thinking by now.. hmm, isn't that a French word? Thalassian maybe? Isn't that like similar to Ish'nu alah? the answer is: No, it's not! It's an actual distance measurement as shown by this picture :

 

How do you use it you asked? well then let me guide you through this. Don't worry it's not that complicated, even Topper McNabb should be able to do this. By the way We need extremely strong alcohol. So don't expect to do this with glasses of milk you bought from Stormwind vendor. I repeat, We need EXTREMELY STRONG alcohol, weaker alcohol will do but it'll take more time for you to vomit. Basically We want to get smashed to the point where our screens are as blurry as the concept of Survival hunter in World of Warcraft.

Now, I know that some of you are already triggered by the word 'vomit' but let me assure you, the measurement actually works  (and fun) as long as these three conditions are fulfilled :

1. Your character must always face the correct way (and I don't mean that error message you get when you're keyboard turning). Importance : Quite important, difficulty : easy.
2. You must always make your character stop right at the furthest point of your vomit, be precise, memorize the pattern of the ground and use your instinct. Importance : important, difficulty : hard.  
3. You must have a keyboard and a mouse, otherwise you wouldn't be able to move your character. Importance : VERY IMPORTANT, difficulty : easy.

Now for the actual steps :

1. Fill up your bag(s) with alcohol, I have a bag full of Distilled Nightwine. It costs 25 golds for 5, you can buy them from Suramar food&drink vendor. The Nightfallen knows what's good when it comes to this so don't worry!

2. Adjust your character to face the correct way. I can't define which is the correct way so choose yours carefully because our lives are meant to be different and We each walk our path. But surely you wouldn't want your character to wander mindlessly into the forest and get eaten by bears.

3. Open your bag and drag your favorite alcohol into the ability bar. Make sure to use the first button (bind the item to '1' key) because it worked for me (I haven't tested the other buttons yet).

4. Press '1' and drink the alcohol multiple times till you see your character vomiting. It takes 2- 3 times if you drink Distilled Nightwine. 

5. Now watch the vomit closely!!! pay attention where your vomit 'ends' and walk there.

6. If your screen turns blurry don't panic! that means you're doing everything right. If by some miracle (which happens a lot actually) your character moves funny and screws up your direction (Spaghetti walk), just adjust it. Remember, this measurement also COMES FROM THE HEART. Use your instinct, remember the pattern where the vomit 'ended' and just casually run there as if nothing wrong happened. You need to believe in yourself.

7. Repeat 1-6, don't forget to count how many times you have vomited. One vomit = one Vomitre.

Testing result : 
I have measured the distance from human's starting area to Goldshire inn in Vom and the result is 114 Vomitres! That mean's it's about 0.114 Kvom! WOW this unit works in decimal too!

How my screen looked like in the end :

Fun fact : Do you know if the number 114 also represents an error code in Blizzard games? it means that you can't connect to battle.net and to be honest, after that 'Vom-walk' my brain and eyes were no longer connected to my body, never mind battle.net

Potential question :
Q: If this method comes from the heart then why don't you just vomit once and count how many steps your character has to make and repeat the same amount of steps? then you can calculate it (X steps = 1 Vom). 
A: Okay then Mr. Smart Ask Alot. You might think that you are correct but that's not the point! the point is that you get smashed, your screen is blurry, your knees are heavy, your palms are sweaty and... hic! you move like spaghetti! ...hic!! 

As always Swofty here, thanks for reading!

Edited June 21, 2018 by Swofty
formatting

[Andantilus 0]

I vote for Gnomes. This is the only reliable unit!

[gorabash 0]

Leftover bones from dead players characters should be the best way to measure things

Edited June 21, 2018 by gorabash
i didn't mean players, i meant characters

[Nitriel 0]

 

Let's calculate in Titan (Sargeras,Aman Thul etc... )

[Starym 3,779]

Congrats to the winners from the comments! Here they are:

As you'd expect Swofty got one for his in-depth Vom theories, then we have Labi132 with Kil'jaeden and finally, wootius with his "Lockyard" featuring Wilfriend Fizzlebang.

The 25 chosen from the poll have also been contacted.

[VanillaChai42 0]

A bear = Best length unit.

[Valhalen 1,484]

2 hours ago, Starym said:

Congrats to the winners from the comments! Here they are:

As you'd expect Swofty got one for his in-depth Vom theories, then we have Labi132 with Kil'jaeden and finally, wootius with his "Lockyard" featuring Wilfriend Fizzlebang.

The 25 chosen from the poll have also been contacted.

Swofty took this thing to a whole new level.

[HugeMurloc 43]

We should count the distance with goblin footsteps.

I know that we gonna see a lot of large numbers, but it would be fun.

[metalgg 1]

New unit should be time measured average period newbie gets 110 lvl. They can assume how long would take to be 110 lvl and Blizz can decide their recruit methods.

[VanillaChai42 0]

On 6/24/2018 at 1:19 AM, metalgg said:

New unit should be time measured average period newbie gets 110 lvl. They can assume how long would take to be 110 lvl and Blizz can decide their recruit methods.

Ugh. I'd be so bad at this. My only max level toon was boosted to 110 then leveled to 120 in like two weeks.