King of the Hill

[Shine 144]

hmmmm... sharing the rule, I do like it.

[Demyndra 6]

After being turned into a small child, I crawled home to drink my baba and play with an empty box while I waited for the potion to wear off. Upon my instant maturation back into adulthood, I decided to stay home and ponder my methods for reclaiming what is rightfully mine. During my self searching I had finally accepted that my skillset, while strong, was not strong enough to overtake and defend the hill from the many, annoying attackers. I would have to hone my skills to best my compatriots. So I headed to the brawlers guild arena, to test my mettle and gather the strength to take back that hill!

Round after round, I fight. Blood, sweat, and tears (especially those of that stupid mage who couldn't kill Bruce) poured as I battled my way through champions. I am stronger than ever and I have befriended quite a few heroes along the way. We share strategies, throw rotten fruit at other brawlers, and lol together at that stupid mage who still can't kill Bruce, even with his complete Heroic T15 gear (someone obviously got carried). This is when I realize, I won't be able to take the hill alone. I will need help... a sinister smile crosses my face as the plan unravels in my head. Oh yes... the hill will be mine!

I make a quick purchase before I head out for the hill. I have pulled some strings with some of my good friends and I can't help my laugh maniacally as I ride towards the hill. As I approach the hill I notice that everyone is in place and ready to spring into action. I dismount and approach one of the bouncers from the arena, he tells me everything is in order and that I am next in line. I head up the hill and the drunkards at the top stare at me nervously awaiting my next move. "I am not here to hurt you," I say. "I have spent so much time and energy trying to take this hill from you all and frankly I just can't do anymore."

"You're giving up?" asked Vladamyr.

"Not quite" I reply.

The puzzled look on Vladamyr's face is almost endearing, as he feels that maybe this game has become too much. Vladamyr is just about to speak as the bell ring...

"Ladies and gentlemen, now entering the ring... EPICUS MAXIMUS"

....

The hill is now mine. The speakers are gone, no giant dragons, no liquor...just me and the hill. I sit and ponder when I will ever see another challenger, it must be four weeks now since the day I reclaimed the hill. Poor Vladamyr... oh god and Shine too... I had forgotten about Shine... Maybe I went too far?

The carnage that day was beyond brutal and to this day I still can't believe that Vlad and Shine survived, although they will be permanently scarred from the experience. I reveled in the pure pain and torture of the moment as I reclaimed the hill, my challengers being torn apart by my summoned foe... oh the pain.

Yet now that I have the hill, I somehow feel, empty. Four weeks I have sat here, perched atop my throne yet no one has come to challenge me... just me and the hill. I pick a dandelion from the ground and after staring at its simplistic beauty for what seems to be hours, I toss it into the wind and begin to walk down the hill. I realize that it wasn't the prestige of owning the hill that kept me fighting, but the constant opportunity of a worthy challenge that fueled my fire. Alas, that fire has been extinguished. I look back one last time, the hill quite far in the distance now, and with a hollow feeling I sigh, and continue walking off into the world...

[Vladamyr 169]

Demyndra awakens from the dream, rolls over in the crib and thinks (doh, still an infant).

Vlad and Shine are partying like it's the Cataclysm (again) and the rest of the GoT crew has shown up (damn, that Natalie Dormer is smoking).

[Storm 426]

I summon George R.R. Martin and he promptly kills off most of the entire GoT crew just as you were beginning to like them. The rest of them flee for their lives. During the skirmish Vlad takes an arrow to the knee and tumbles down the hill, landing next to Natalie Dormer who has feinted and may need some mouth to mouth.

[Vladamyr 169]

(Storm has just defeated me!)

Vlad is off to make time with Natalie. Enjoy the hill!

[Shine 144]

I like how you have your priorities in order Vlad.

Keep the hill for now, I shall spill my seed on the thigh of Rose Leslie. (Ygritte, the wildling touched by fire)

Ill come back later.

[Storm 426]

I get bored because nobody is attacking so I invite the dragon back to have some drinks. Little did I know, whiskey makes the dragon want to fight. I slam back my Jameson and give it all I've got, but the dragon catches me off guard with a behind the back tail swipe and I'm punted off into the distance.

 

The dragon is now the king of the hill.

[Watermasta 7]

Seeing as there is only a dragon guarding the hill. I simply walk up and spray it in the face with some "dragon-repelent" and it falls asleep and rolls off the hill, leaving me on top.

[Estarriol 167]

The mighty and glorious Estarriol sees that these people have it all wrong! She charges up the hill and Roars, very like a Dragon, "NO FLAG, NO COUNTRY, YOU CAN'T HAVE ONE!" into the face of Watermasta. He stumbles off, bleeding from the ears while the mighty and glorious EMPRESS Estarriol plants her Banners all about her hill.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTduy7Qkvk8

[Shine 144]

that video made my day.

[Storm 426]

It turns out the dragon punted me so hard that I fly all the way around Azeroth and crash land back on the hill knocking Estarriol off. But now I'm tangled up in all these damned banners, who the heck put these here?

[Watermasta 7]

While Storm is still tangled up in the banners, i attach a huge balloon to his back which carries him off into the sky. Leaving me standing once more.

[Shine 144]

wow, look at this, theres dust everywhere.

Noone must have been here in ages.

But, wait.

What is that over there.

Someones there.

*Walks towards that someone*

Oh my, It appears to be Watermasta playing WoW.

I guess those queues do become quite long.

 

*unplugges the internet cable*

There he goes, look at him running to find his precious internets.

 

KING!!

[Storm 426]

Here's a little story all about how

My DK got flipped turned upside down

and I'd like to take a minute to give you a thrill

I'll tell you how I just became the king of this hill

[Watermasta 7]

Starts singing

"The good guys dress in black, remember that,

Just in case we ever face to face and make contact.

The title held by me... M.I.B.

Means what you think you saw, you did not see.

So don't blink,

Think what was there but now's gone.

Black suit with the black Ray Ban's on.

Walk in shadow, move in silence,

Guard against extra-terrestrial violence.

But yo we ain't on no government list.

We straight don't exist,

No names and no fingerprints.

Saw something strange,

Watch your back.

Cause you never quite know where the M.I.B.'s is at,

Uh and..."

Shoots you with the Noisy Cricket and it causes you to fly back off the hill, leaving me standing there alone once more.

[Shine 144]

I just wanna be, the king

of the hill that you stand on

Cuz I've got so much swag

going on today

nothing you can say

 

And I need to BE, the kiiiiiing

of the hill that you stand on

so I grab a bbgun

load it with some darts

and fire away.

 

My hill.